Lover's Feelings or lack thereof
by Gining
Summary: One-shot in which Rikku makes a sidetrip from Djose after not seeing Gippal. Her deepest secrets are revealed, along with a certain warrior's. They each tell the other why they hate the one day set aside for lovers. Anti-Val fic!


A/n: So this is supposed to be my take on Valentine's day. A sort of...anti-Valentine's day story if you will. The whole day makes me twitch in a most unromantic way. While I am married, and have been for over ten years, that does not mean I need a holiday set aside so I can act all disgustingly sweet to my husband. There is just a tiny bit of fluff added, but nothing that would make one want to gouge an eye out for. I tried to keep everyone in character as best as I could. I think I did fairly well. Oh, and one more thing! Auron and Rikku are the main characters included, but I wouldn't call this an aurikku. Not directly anyway.

* * *

Disclaimer says that Gin owns no rights to the characters or places included inside this piece of fiction. If she did, there would have been so much more done different then the real game makers did.

What a joke. The worse day of the year was coming up, and it wasn't even the day he died. That he could live with, well... It was sickening really. Watching couples wander off and do... never mind. They were no better then love sick puppies.

And now here on the farplane it was worse then ever before. Here reunited couples could share the day together, and there was no escape from it. Even Jecht got all googly-eyed with his wife. The one man he thought was above that, acting just like the rest. He scoffed as he stared out over the falls.

Auron hated the day Spira liked to set aside just for lovers. It wasn't because he never had anyone for himself, he did at one time, but turned her down. Love wasn't for him. And now he was dead and thought he was going to get his eternal rest and peace, but this was anything but.

"Hey, mopey!" Jecht called out from somewhere behind him. "You just going to sit there all day? Why don't you come with Braska and me down to the field? I'm told it's beautiful right now. The fayth go out of their way to make it bloom."

Auron sighed as he bowed his head and shook it from side to side, "I think I am fine right here. I do not need to be a burden to you."

"Whoever said you were a burden?" Jecht laughed loudly in the way he always did when he was trying to make up for something. "Look, Braska just wants you with us. It's not the same without you he says."

"Tell him I apologize, but I will not be joining you. I have...other places to be." He was glad that his back was facing the rough man otherwise Jecht may have seen the wince on his face at the obvious lie.

"You? Places to be? Since when?"

Auron stood and turned so quickly from his seat Jecht had to take a step back. His friend's brown eye flashed fury, one brow twitching slightly. "What I do is none of your concern." He hissed. "Now, if you would be so kind as to leave me alone, I would appreciate it." Releasing a pent up outlet of air, Auron sat back down to stare at the falls. But something was gone now, it wasn't as pleasant as before.

"Whatever you say, man." Jecht left him alone, the pyerflies of his body fleeing away in the unfelt winds.

Auron tried to find the semi-state of peace he had before, but it was beyond gone. His shoulders slumped as he too, allowed the pyerflies to break away from his body.

* * *

Rikku laughed loudly as she fought another flan on her way to Djose temple. They couldn't touch her, not with they way they moved. She chuckled as another ice spell was blocked by her shell spell making it seem like only a cool breeze.

"Ha! Is that the best you got?" She taunted before running in and slashing at the fiend. "Have some of this!" The katana in her hand cleanly severed the fiend sending the colored lights to circle around her body before disappearing. Rikku thrust the tip of the sword into the ground and watched them float away. She tried not to think about what they meant, it was too painful of a reminder. And the last thing she needed was to see some old random memory appear before her.

"Get a grip on yourself, Riks. You have seen them tons of times before. It's not like they are anything new or anything." Her hands gripped each side of her head as she tried to suppress those thoughts deep inside where they belonged. The lights were beautiful to look at, but the remembrances were not so nice. She had managed to put away such thoughts while she traveled, but when she was alone it wasn't so easy.

"I need to stop! I'm going to go see Gippal so I can give him this!" She held a small package of silver above her head as if showing it off to the clouds. "He's going to love it! I can't wait!" Bringing her arm down, Rikku carefully shoved the package back into her pocket. Pushing away old thoughts again, Rikku continued on traveling down the Djose shore until she reached the temple.

Two men stood at the entrance keeping guard. "Hello! Frana ec Gippal?" She asked as she approached.

They glanced at one another before one nodded and shook his head. "Ra'c uid eh dra tacand. Fa ryjah'd caah res eh veja tyoc." He tried to look apologetic, but failed as a naughty grin slipped through. (He's out in the desert. We haven't seen him in five days.)

Rikku huffed as she threw her hands in the air, her red scarf twisting around her wildly. "That man is impossible! I told him I was going to be here to see him!" She stomped her feet as she walked away. The small item in her pocket having been long forgotten about now.

Tears threatened to run down her cheeks, but she refused to let them fall. It's not like her and Gippal were anything. He could see whomever he wanted to. Rikku ignored all the others that hung around the temple as she made her way back the way she came, all the time ranting and raving in a mix between Spiran and Al Bhed.

Instead of going left at the intersection though, Rikku wasn't paying attention and went right instead. It wasn't until she saw the shoopuff that she realized her mistake. "Ohhhh. Brother is not going to be happy with me now. I was supposed to go back..." She trailed off as she glanced around, a wicked smile came over her face. "I always did want to cross the Moonflow on a shoopuff."

After talking to the Hypello on duty, Rikku was set on another short adventure.

* * *

Braska came up to him later. He found his friend sulking not too far away from where Jecht had found him. "Auron, won't you come with us? My wife wants to see you join us."

Auron scoffed, he knew it was only a ploy to get him to come. "No thank you. You will have a much better time if I am not there." he turned his body so that Braska was faced with his red coated back.

Braska sighed sadly before stepping away. "Very well. Have it your way. I'll let them know you send your regards."

Auron brushed his sentiments off with a wave of his hand. He waited until the quiet sounds of Braska's footfalls faded away before moving. "I thought the farplane was supposed to be peaceful. Where is my peace?" His gloved fist pounded at the ground next to him.

His head dropped next before he felt a pulling from the pyerflies. He was in no mood to resist, so he allowed himself to let them take him away. When they formed back together, it came as a shock to see a young blond thief standing in front of him.

"Hey." The blond spoke softly.

He wondered what she could have been thinking. She never did like the farplane, Rikku said so herself several years ago. And yet here she was, searching for _him_ of all people. Unable to say anything, Auron simply floated there and listened.

"Yeah, yeah. I know what you must be thinking. What am I, of all people, doing here? It's a long story. Would you believe that I was just in the neighborhood?" She smiled cheekily up at him before dropping her face to the ground. "Neither would I. But it is the truth."

Rikku looked around at the platform and noticed how empty it was. She scowled once in dismay before facing her memory again. "Looks like it's just you and me. Not that I'm surprised. Well, since I'm here, I might as well give you the run down on what has been happening around Spira!" Her smile returned and Auron took notice at how much more forced it was.

"You will never believe it!" She began before leaving her mouth hanging open then closing it slowly. "Well, maybe you might. Wakka and Lulu got married just after Yunie brought the calm. And they even have a baby, they called him Vidina. Cute name, huh? It's an Al Bhed word. It means future. Wakka thought of it, he said it was his first and most important decision as a father."

Her booted toe played with the dirt under her as her hands clasped together behind her. It was the first time Auron actually payed attention to what she was wearing. True he had seen such risqué clothing during his travels, but he never expected Rikku of all people to wear little more then a bikini and skirt. For some reason he found that fact bothering him. He had seen her wearing it when her and her friends entered the farplane to fight Vegnugun, but for some reason that he could not explain, he felt she should not be dressed like that now.

Rikku continued on not knowing about his thoughts since he could not express them. "I'm sure you knew, but Tidus came back. I don't know how, but he seems to think the fayth had a part in that. I guess I can understand that, even if I don't know how they did it. I asked Shinra once, but he just told me about dreams and pyerflies, and other stuff I didn't get."

Getting tired of standing, Rikku found a nice place and sat on the edge of the platform. Her feet hung over the edge and she swung them in a lazy fashion. "They went up to Zanarkand together. I wasn't invited, not like I wanted to go anyway." Crossing her arms over her chest, Rikku pouted. "Too many bad memories, you know?"

Auron listened as she continued on telling all about what has been going on, and what she had been doing. His own thoughts circled in his mind and he wondered again why she called him knowing there were so many others she might have wanted to talk to. Her mother was here, wasn't she? Why wasn't this girl spilling her heart out to family?

"I bet I know what you are thinking right now, that is if you really do have thoughts here." Rikku went silent as she stared up at his hovering form, her swirled eyes going glassy for just a moment. "Us single people need to stick together, you know. I was actually on my way to visit Gippal, but the jerk left knowing I was coming. I even had a chocolate for him. It's right...here." She reached into her pocket and pulled out the silver wrapped candy. "It's Al Bhed tradition for the girls to give chocolate to the guys they like. But I don't think I want him to have it anymore. He doesn't deserve it." She stared down at it before standing up. Using one hand to brush dust from the back of her skirt, Rikku brought the one holding the chocolate above her head.

"Stupid Gippal! I should have known better! I should have known when he tried to get close to my own cousin instead of me! I should have known!" Shouting her feelings out seemed to do anything but calm her down. Breathing deeply, Rikku flung the candy as far as she could into the farthest depths of the farplane. She watched it fly before it was gone from sight. Her shoulders moved up and down as she held back dry sobs.

Her knees seemed to buckle under her, and Rikku fell back to the stone. "I should have given that to you." She stated as her chin touched her chest. "You would have at least pretended to accept it gratefully allowing a young girl's crush to be filled. Not that I ever liked you or anything!" She quickly added as her head shot up.

"Oh, who am I kidding? The most special holiday is tomorrow and I have no one to share it with. It's supposed to be the one time for couples to express how much they love one another without seeming annoying. I bet you never liked it much to begin with. I can't say I blame you. It's really not that special. I lied when I said it was." Her distraught stance came back in full force.

His image began to fade away before he got to see anymore from Rikku. It was surprising that she even stayed that long to talk to him. He found himself back by the falls, but now his thoughts were consumed by his old companion. She was upset, but that wasn't _his_ problem. Clouds shifted away from the never setting moon causing the light to shine down on a nearby object. He cocked his head before going to see what it was. When he bent down, he found that it was the silver wrapped chocolate Rikku had thrown.

Rikku paced back and forth in the rented inn room cursing at how foolish she was. "What was I thinking? Of all the people I knew, and I called the _great Sir Auron_! I am so glad the dead can't hear us, I would be so embarrassed after everything I just told him!"

She flopped on the bed with a sigh. "I wonder what Yunie and Paine are doing right now. Probably off on some fanciful adventure with that one special person." She sighed again as a smile graced her lips. "So romantic. They are so lucky." Her eyes closed and soon enough, Rikku found herself dreaming.

Her dreams were filled with the past, of things she had seen and done. Places she had been, people she had met. But at the center of each instance, was one person. A man dressed in red. Sometimes he watched with an expression akin to disappointment, other times a smile would be hidden behind that high collar of his. He wasn't always a part of what was going on, most of the time he was just a spectator. She found herself in each dream wanting to make that smile appear. Shame would overwhelm her when it wasn't there, when it was that disappointment in his eye instead. She tried to hide it, but it always came back in the end. By the time morning came, Rikku could take no more. She sat up in bed eyes wide, and panting like she had just ran a marathon.

"Look, just because I see him one time does not mean I like him!" She shouted to the walls and anyone else that could hear. "He was a big meanie! Nothing more!" She pounded her fist into the mattress, "But he treated me with respect even knowing what I was. I have to go see him again!"

Jumping from the bed, Rikku picked out a dress sphere that fit her mood better then her thief. She found it in the songstress. Leaving the rest of her things behind, Rikku raced back to the farplane. She stopped short as soon as she reached the barrier, however. "Ok, what am I doing here? What do I really want to say to him?" She scratched her cheek as she paced back and forth in front of the entrance. Several Guado watched her with looks of confusion. "Just what am I supposed to say?" She shouted forcing the onlookers to lean away from her.

Rikku laughed nervously realizing what she had done. "Hehe, sorry about that." She shook out her long blond hair and entered. The area was empty much like it was the day before. She could see where she had stood the day before, no wind blew to hide where her foot played in the dirt.

Rikku wanted to call on Auron once again, but refused to do it. Instead she settled for Keyakku, her cousin. He showed up along with the girl he had been seeing before he died. They had been caught in the remains of Home when her father had blown it up. "Oh yeah, I forgot. I guess you are happy now, aren't you? And here I am disturbing that happiness." Rikku let them fade as she sat upon the rock, her feet hanging over the edge again. She just sat there quietly staring out at the scene around her. She could understand why one would like a place like this after they died. It was much prettier then half of Spira. There was no fighting here. No wars or arguments because people didn't listen to one another.

A small smile spread on her face. "A lover's holiday and I have no one to share it with. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I come on too strong most of the time. I must scare away every potential boyfriend. Even Kimahri knew how to act to attract someone. And Yunie is just so kind and gentle it's no surprise Tidus fell in love with her. She's practically perfect!"

Anger overtook Rikku, and she stood up to shout out all her frustration. However, as she stood, her boot caught the back tail of her top pitching her forward and over the edge of the platform. She screamed the entire way.

Auron heard a scream some distance away. He wondered who could be screaming here in this place. It seemed odd enough that he had to find out who it was. With a heavy sigh, Auron stood and began walking. It didn't take him long to find the source of the disturbance. There laying in the field of flowers in front of him lay the same guest he had yesterday. She was dressed differently; more modest, yet still revealing. His single eye roamed over her while waiting for her to wake up. The yellow dress suited her well. He looked around and found a spot to sit and wait. He pulled one knee up and placed one arm on top while the other settled behind him.

It didn't take long, or at least it didn't seem that way. Time held little meaning here, but Rikku moaned just before opening her eyes. "Oh, what happened?"

"I would assume you fell." Auron answered for her.

Rikku gasped and jumped to her feet quickly. "Auron? How are you here? What are you doing here?"

"I died, this is where I belong." He changed positions, but remained seated. "What are you doing here?" He returned the question.

Her hands paddled in front of her as she tried to think everything through. "I came to see you yesterday, I went to bed, woke up and came back. I never truly intended to talk to you again." The hands stopped moving as one found its place on her hip. "Hey, you're dead. Since I am here, does that mean I am too?"

"A good guess, but wrong. Just because you are here now does not mean you have died. You remember fighting Vegnagun?" When she nodded Auron went on. "You and your friends came through here, we all watched you fight what we could not."

"I remember! I think I heard your voice too! Along with Uncle Braska and Jecht. You all watched us?"

Auron nodded once. "You have grown since I first came here. You're stronger now."

"Maybe, but I'm still alone." Her hand fell before she collapsed at his feet sitting in front of him. "You think....you think I can stay here for the day? I don't want to go back yet and see everyone else acting all sickenly sweet to one another. I don't think I could take it."

Auron humphed and turned his head away. "It's the same down here. Nothing changes after death. In fact it seems to get worse. You don't forget what you had in life, what you may have missed."

Rikku got up onto all fours and crawled closer to him, "Are you saying that you don't like it here?" She asked sincerely.

Auron refused to look at her. "Leave me alone. Take my advice. Go back where you belong, find a nice man, have some kids, grow old together."

"I was right, you do hate it here. Well guess what, My advice is much more subtle – stop being an ass. You always find some tiny little flaw to push people away. If it's not one thing, it's another. I thought when I woke up and saw you here that maybe, just maybe, you might have cared for us in some tiny way. But I can see now I was wrong." Rikku huffed before standing. "But it's okay, I have been wrong many times in the past. I'll get over this as well."

Auron watched her as she began to walk away. He closed his eye as his right arm fell to his side brushing against his coat. It was then that he remembered something. "Rikku, wait." He dug inside the pocket and pulled his fist back out holding something inside. Extending his hand, he waited as Rikku came back over to see what he wanted. "You left this behind yesterday." Opening his hand, he held out the silver candy waiting for Rikku to take it back.

Smiling, Rikku took hold of his fist before closing his fingers back over the chocolate. "You keep it. I want you to have it." She refused to let got of his hand until he nodded his head in agreement.

"Stay?" He asked just above a whisper. "Us singles have to stick together, right? A wise young woman once told me that."

Her eyes lit up in joy before Rikku scrambled to find a place next to him. She had to bite her bottom lip to keep from ruining the moment. She wanted to squeal in happiness, but a chance like this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. "Auron?" He hummed letting her know he was listening. "Thanks for not pushing me away. I really did respect you back on Yunie's pilgrimage. Even if you were a mean grouch, you did it so we could grow from it. I think I can understand that. Paine was like that too, she had a painful past. After she told me her story, I began to understand you as well. I uh, also want to thank you for uh..."

Auron looked down at her. Rikku's blond head was settled on his shoulder, and she released a yawn before finishing her thought.

"I just want to thank you for listening to me."

Her eyes closed, and her breathing got deeper. Auron wrapped one arm around her shoulders and allowed her to stay like that for the day. While he would never care for the lover's holiday, it still made him sick deep inside, Auron could recognize why couples enjoyed it so much. It was a chance to reflect on how much another person meant to you. Kissing the top of Rikku's head lightly, Auron dissolved into a cloud of pyerflies and carried her back to the entrance of the farplane. He stayed nearby until she was found about an hour later as Tidus and Yuna passed though on their way back to Besaid.

"Rikku? Are you okay? What are you doing here?" Yuna was at her cousin's side in an instant. The day was over and night had fallen outside of the city.

Tidus stood close by and watched as his lover tended to her family. He half listened as Rikku explained why she came here. As they talked about his old mentor, Tidus could see the image begin to form. He thought little of it at first until Rikku gasped.

The Al Bhed smiled brightly at something held in the older guardian's hand. It was a silver wrapped piece of candy. "Uh, Rikku?" He tried to ask.

"It's nothing. I'm just happy." Rikku explained before leaving.

Tidus and Yuna both shrugged at one another before they followed her out. Auron watched them go before he too faded away. Back at the falls, he pretended to listen to Jecht and Braska telling him about their day as he slowly enjoyed a piece of chocolate wrapped in silver wrapping.


End file.
